An In-Depth Analysis of Rihanna's Te Amo

"Te amo, te amo," she says to me
She? What an interesting twist in the first line. Subtle as a brick to the face.


I hear the pain in her voice
Pain? Perhaps it's Spanish for 'you're standing on my toe.'

Then we danced underneath the candelabra, she takes the lead
Rihanna, I'd be surprised if you can fit two people under a candelabra. Perhaps you should look it up before inserting it at random into your songs.

Not much room for dancing.

That's when I saw it in her eyes, it's over
What's over? Are you watching a film? Is she dead? I'm not that amazed really, you did try to fit her under a candelabra.

Then she said "te amo"
Then she put her hand around my waist
What Rihanna really says here is "the-she-pudda-han-aroun-meh-waaays".

I told her no, she cried "te amo"
Note, not said, but 'cried'. Rihanna is painting a picture here of an insane Spanish lesbian. Catchy.

I told her I'm not gonna run away, but let me go
And here she actually says 'rah-talla-ahm-nah-ganna-ranna-wayyy'. Being Barbadian is no excuse for laziness, Rihanna.

My soul is awry, without asking why
Confusion here, mostly because THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. Her soul is askew, wonky, or 'skew-whiff', suggests the thesaurus. There we go, Rihanna's soul is slightly out of place. And it doesn't ask why either.

I said, "te amo, wish somebody'd tell me what she said"
The lyrics suggest that Rihanna said all that to this girl, as if she were talking to herself. Again, this paints a rather bizarre picture of
A) one insane Spanish lesbian crying "I LOVE YOU" while trying to wrap limbs around Rihanna, and
B) Rihanna pretending she isn't there.

Don't it mean "I love you"?
Think it means "I love you"
Don't it mean "I love you"?
Rihanna suggests that, instead of asking one of her entourage, or, frankly, anyone with half a brain, or even looking it up on the iPhone she undoubtedly has, she instead just said it back, without knowing what it meant.
Good thing it wasn't 'let's enter a suicide pact together' or something.

Te amo, te amo, she's scared to breathe
I would be too if I were under a candelabra.

I hold her hand, I got no choice
Is this any message to send out to girls everywhere? You are advocating hand rape!

NO means NO.

Pulled me out on the beach, danced in the water, I start to leave
Insane Spanish Lesbian and Rihanna dancing in the water. Have you ever tried to dance in the water? It looks difficult. I imagine two flailing women (in full clothes?) only adds to the odd mental picture.

She's begging me and asking why it's over
To be honest, I don't blame her. Rihanna has just danced with her AND told her she loved her. What a hussy!

Then she said "te amo"
Then she put her hand around my waist
I told her no, she cried "te amo"
I told her I'm not gonna run away, but let me go
Again, lazy Barbadian-ness means that I'm just going to have to trust the lyrics here. Rah-talla-ahm-nah-ganna-ranna-wayyy!

My soul is awry, without asking why
I said, "te amo, wish somebody'd tell me what she said"
Don't it mean "I love you"?
Think it means "I love you"
Don't it mean "I love you"?
Yes, and you KNOW it does.

Listen we can dance, but you gotta watch your hands
I swear on your life that she actually says 'you gotta wash your hands'. Rihanna is a secret stickler for hygiene.

Watch me all night, I'm movin' to the light because I understand
A revelation! She's moving to the light... because she understands? THE SPANISH LESBIAN IS A MOTH

Translated for non-Moth-Spanish speakers

That we all need love and I'm not afraid
I feel the love, but I don't feel that way
You can't have your lesbian cake and eat it, Rihanna.

Then she said "te amo"
Then she put her hand around my waist
I told her no, she cried "te amo"
I told her I'm not gonna run away, but let me go
I would actually like to see Rihanna try to run away out of the sea in heels.
But not in a lesbian way. It just sounds entertaining.

My soul is awry, without asking why
I said, "te amo, wish somebody'd tell me what she said"
Don't it mean "I love you"?
Think it means "I love you"
Don't it mean "I love you"?

Think it means "I love you"
I love you
Te amo, te amo
Don't it mean I love you?

To conclude: Yes. It does. However the internet tells me that "Te amo is mostly used among people who are learning Spanish from a textbook", so, another twist on the story: the insane Spanish lesbian moth is not Spanish, but is possibly doing Spanish GCSE. Add on to that the fact that Rihanna lives in America, where there is a large proportion of Spaniards, and you wonder how on earth an insane lesbian moth studying GCSE Spanish manages to outwit Rihanna.